Bitter Sweet Valentine Poems

To begin, one of Patrick Winstanley's practical valentine's poems, which can be use to ward off unwelcome Valentine's Day advances. This is a variant on traditional Roses are red poems and can be used, preemptively if necessary, as a gentle rebuff to those offering unsolicited valentines gifts:

Roses Aren't

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm allergic
Atchoo, Atchoo

Valentines Day isn't an occasion of unalloyed joy, as many people find that suitable admirers are rather thin on the ground. Or perhaps that should read that unsuitable admirers are rather fat on the ground.

Single Minded

A single red rose
A glass of champagne
Ready meal for one
It's that day again

If that reflects your somewhat jaundiced view of valentine romance, remember the solace that can be found in chocolate   ...which is both an aphrodisiac and a euphoriant.

Passion Spent

The Roses are eaten
The Milk Tray consumed
My appetite's sated
But my weight's ballooned

For some though, valentine's day brings back truly horrific memories, as expressed in this variation on the Roses are red theme.

Lost Love

The roses are dead
The violets have wilted
We were to be wed
But now I've been jilted

More Funny Valentines Poems

Short Funny Valentines Poems ! Funny Valentines Poems |Twisted Funny Valentines Poems

Romantic Valentine Poems

Or for the traditionalists, a selection of Paul's valentine poems encompassing love, lust and loss.